It’s not when you stumble upon an unidentified flying [spoiler], or the part where George Washington falls off a [spoiler], or even when Desmond finds out that he’s really the son of [spoiler] (joking!). No, my most memorable experience in Assassin’s Creed III so far: when I finally, finally beat the computer at Nine Men’s Morris (not joking). Oh Nine Men’s Morris, how you wracked my brain and kept me up through the wee hours last night, trying to eek out a single victory, which is probably why I’m writing about you and too addle-brained to tackle something serious, like whether John McAfee “desperately” needs a toothbrush. Nine Men’s Morris is a strategy game — actually a game-within-a-game here. Maybe you’ve heard of it. Maybe you’ve even played it. I hadn’t until Assassin’s Creed III, where it’s one of three strategy mini-games you encounter ranging around your frontier/homestead, doing do-gooder deeds for the locals (who in turn bolster your convoy-based economy by producing goods you can sell). The other two old-schools strategy games are Bowls and Fanorona. Bowls, a fairly straightforward ball-tossing game that’s a little like Horseshoes (only with a movable stake), I beat the second time I tried. Fanorona, a vaguely Checkers-like board game, took some doing, but I eventually stumbled into a win. But Nine Men’s Morris (or just “Morris,” in ACIII parlance — there’s apparently a “Six Men’s” version in the game, too) took real think-five-moves-ahead strategizing to win. I must have thrown at least 1,000 quid into a black hole of figuring-out-how-to-play before I scored my first (and only) achievement-unlocking victory against the computer. All the while, my portly Ben Franklin-looking opponent in tri-corner hat would tap his fingers impatiently if I dawdled, or wave his hand across the board, as if to say “Anytime, fool.” One thing that got me, early on, was an “almost” victory where the computer appeared to cheat to win. If, like me, your first time with Nine Men’s Morris was ACIII, you know exactly what I’m talking about — the![]()
